Thursday, June 08, 2006

Today, tomorrow, whenever.

"I'll eat right tomorrow."

We've all said it. Right now, though, tomorrow is kicking my big butt. It's not even so much the cravings, which are a small part I must admit, it's just that junk food is so much easier than cooking and eating right and I'm just so damned tired.

Not to mention I ate right for an entire week and I gained 3 lbs AND I still haven't picked up my thyroid medication from the pharmacy, so I've been off it for about oh a week now... Just sort of takes all of the motivation out of it. Except today I got the rare privilege of seeing photos of myself from about 4 years ago. I look like a completely different person. I don't even know myself anymore and it scares me.

The thing that really scares me is that 4 years ago I was a good looking girl, with a decent figure and I didn't even know it. I mean I wasn't heroine addict model thin but I was far from buying my clothes in the plus department. And now, here I sit, staring at those photos wondering where I went. I mean 4 years isn't long. And yeah I know, screwed up thyroid will make you gain weight, blah blah blah. It doesn't make me feel any more attractive when I pull a pair of pants out of the dryer, think they must be my son's because they look too small to be mine and when I really take a look find out that they're an old pair of my husband's... Who use to wear his pants hanging off his ass like a surfer dude.. And was 6'4" and 220lbs when I met him.

I want to be that girl again. I want to feel like I look decent in a skirt, or better yet a sleeveless top. I want to know my jeans are the smallest in the house again, or at least the room.. I want to really start eating right tomorrow.

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Weight Goals

1 month goal: Lose 10 lbs
3 month goal: lose 15 - 20 lbs
6 month goal: lose 25 lbs
1 year goal: lose 35 lbs

Fitness Goals

1 week goal: go for a walk 3 nights
2 week goal: go for a walk 5 nights
3 week goal: start yoga 2x week
4 week goal: walk 5 nights a week, yoga 3x week